Anecdotes

[aganjar194]

It turns out that the longitudinal groove on the tablets is needed not only for dividing it into two parts, but so that a patient who has a severe sore throat and who is unable to swallow fully could screw this same tablet into the ass with a screwdriver.

[pain-pail]

- Why do cops have a blue line on the doors?
- To make the handle easy to find, Mr. Jones.
- Hmm... So, why don't the cops leave the car for 5 minutes?
- It because there is no such line inside, Mr. Jones.

0A programmers decided to make the project
One asked: "Where is the money?", and there left 9 of them
9 programmers face the boss
One of them did not know FoxPro, and there left 8 of them
8 programmers bought IBM
One of them said: "Mac is great!", and there left 7 of them
7 programmers wanted to help read
One had a screw, and there left 6 of them
6 programmers tried to understand the code
One of them went crazy and there left 5 of them
5 programmers bought a CD-ROM
One brought a Chinese disc - and there left 4 of them
4 programmers worked in C
One of them praised Pascal, and there left 3 of them
3 network programmers played Quake 3
One hesitated a little, and there left 2 of them
2 programmers together typed "win"
One tired of waiting for loading - only 1 left
1 programmer took control of everything
But I met with the customer, and there left 0 of them
0 programmers were scolded by an angry boss
Then he fired one, and it became their FF

[pain-pail]

Lifehack for photographers - put your iPhone (or any other smartphone with a camera) under the pillow, and everything that you saw in your dream will be in the photographic pictures in the morning!

[pain-pail]

Here are 4 questions that world-class recruiting agencies use to
in order to assess the mental abilities of candidates:

Question 1: How do I put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put a giraffe in it, close
refrigerator.
-> This question allows you to find out if you have a tendency to seek out
overly complex solutions for simple tasks.

Question 2: How to put an elephant in the refrigerator?
Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put an elephant in there, close the refrigerator.
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, remove the giraffe from there, put the elephant in there, close the refrigerator.
-> This question allows you to find out if you are capable of making decisions
consider the consequences of your previous actions.

Question 3: The lion called all the animals to a meeting. All but one appeared.
What is this beast?
Correct answer: This is an elephant. It's in the fridge, remember?
-> This question tests your memory.

OK. Even if you didn’t manage to answer the previous three questions correctly, you still have a chance to show what you can do.

Question 4: You need to cross a wide river that is teeming with crocodiles.
How do you do it?
Correct answer: Swim. After all, crocodiles are all at the meeting at the lion.
-> This question allows you to find out if you are able to study at
own mistakes.

Ask these questions to your friends, even if they break their heads

[pain-pail]

Somehow a friend called in misfortune in a terrible panic: they came ...
- Oh! We have a tax audit! They are being fined!
- For what?
- We didn't withhold the tax from the wreath!
- In terms of?
- Our employee died, and the company bought a wreath for his grave ...
- Well, I hope you excluded from expenses for income tax - the wreath is not aimed at obtaining economic benefits ...
- Yes! Expelled, let them choke! But they insist that the employee received income in kind in the form of payment for the goods.
- Wait, the wreath was bought after the death of the employee?
- Yes!
- So what is the income of the deceased?
- Thanks! I'll tell them now! ...

After a while, the call again.
- They thought and now insist that this is the income of the employee's wife, who paid for the funeral ...
- What was written on the ribbon?
- "From the employees of the company such and such."
- Well, what has the wife to do with it?
- Thanks!

Several minutes pass. The accountant is back on the wire.
- They said that the cost of the ribbon was excluded, but the cost of the wreath is still in the wife's income!
- The wreath cost less than 40$?
- Yes!
- Pass the wreath as a gift
- Thanks!

Again the call. A completely killed voice:
- They said that the deceased should not be given anything ...
- So a gift to the WIFE! Clear?
No longer even thanks. After another minute, the apotheosis:
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH! the fine was removed!